Tears, Laughter, and Love: A Modern Guide to Wedding Vows

If you’re planning your wedding day and want to make your ceremony truly personal, writing your own wedding vows might be just the thing. Modern couples across the UK are moving away from traditional scripts and embracing more heartfelt, customised vows that reflect their real love stories.

Whether you're after something romantic, light-hearted, or a mix of both, this guide will walk you through how to write modern wedding vows—plus offer examples to inspire your own words.

Why Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

1. It Makes the Ceremony More Meaningful
Your wedding vows are the emotional heart of your ceremony. By writing your own, you’re expressing your love and promises in a way that feels authentic.

2. It Reflects Who You Are as a Couple
Modern vows give you the freedom to be yourselves—whether that’s playful, poetic, sentimental or a bit quirky.

3. A Keepsake You’ll Always Treasure
Many couples keep their written vows as a lasting memento, tucked into a scrapbook or framed on the wall.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

1. Give Yourself Time

Start at least a few weeks before the wedding. This gives you the space to think, write a few drafts, and practise aloud.

2. Think About Your Relationship

Ask yourself:

• What moments define your relationship?

• What do you admire most about your partner?

• What have you been through together?

• What promises truly matter to you?

3. Agree on Tone and Length

Speak with your partner about tone—whether you want your vows to be romantic, funny, poetic, or a mix. Keep them roughly the same length (about 1–2 minutes when spoken).

4. Include These Key Elements

Modern wedding vows often include:

• A short personal story or memory

• What you love about your partner

• A few sincere promises

• A strong, heartfelt closing line

Modern Wedding Vow Examples

Romantic

"You are my safe place, my home, and my favourite person. I promise to be there through every up and down, to love you deeply and without hesitation, and to face life’s adventures hand in hand."

Witty but Meaningful

"I promise to always put the kettle on when you’re tired, to laugh at your terrible jokes, and to be your biggest fan, even when we disagree over the duvet. You’re my best friend—and I choose you, every day."

Poetic & Personal

"With you, I’ve found a love that’s quiet, strong and sure. I vow to stand beside you, grow with you, and love you fiercely through every season of our lives."

Answering Your Questions

Can we write our vows but still have a registrar-led ceremony?

Absolutely. In the UK, you’ll still need to include the legally required wording if you’re having a civil ceremony. But there’s usually time during the service to add your own personal vows after the legal bit.

Should we share our vows before the day?

Some couples do, to make sure they’re on the same page in terms of tone and length. Others keep them as a surprise. Do what feels right for you both.

What if I get emotional while reading?

That’s perfectly normal—and part of the beauty of personal vows. Take your time, breathe, and remember everyone is rooting for you.

Top Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

• Write from the heart – Don’t try to sound a certain way. Just be genuine.

• Avoid clichés – Use your own words and real-life details.

• Practise reading aloud – This helps with flow and confidence.

• Have a printed or written copy – Reading from a phone can feel impersonal.

Final Thoughts: Your Vows, Your Voice

Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to celebrate your love story. Whether you include a private memory, a heartfelt promise, or a cheeky line that only the two of you understand, your words will mean the world.

And don’t forget—there’s no such thing as the “perfect” vow. If it’s true to you, it’s perfect already.